Poetry

[tectak]

Thank you for an excellent critique, you give me a lot to think about. I was unsure of the use of dashes, I agree they could go.
I did intend to use "imbibe", but I think I see the problem in the last two lines. If i removed the question mark after death, it would make more sense, as it wasn't intended to be a question that follows through to the end.
After editing the original post I think I like it much more. This is a submission for a final exam in english comp so I appreciate the help.
Ferwynne

Hi fer,
you have a good attitude.
You may have meant to use "imbibe" but you are using it incorrectly. Imbibe means to take in. So you have written "Takes in in painful truth" .
Try "Imbibes the painful truth". Mistakes like this lose you credibility, whereas you deserve kudos for using the word at all
Best,
tectak