05-11-2013, 12:17 AM
Thank you for an excellent critique, you give me a lot to think about. I was unsure of the use of dashes, I agree they could go.
I did intend to use "imbibe", but I think I see the problem in the last two lines. If i removed the question mark after death, it would make more sense, as it wasn't intended to be a question that follows through to the end.
After editing the original post I think I like it much more. This is a submission for a final exam in english comp so I appreciate the help.
Ferwynne
I did intend to use "imbibe", but I think I see the problem in the last two lines. If i removed the question mark after death, it would make more sense, as it wasn't intended to be a question that follows through to the end.
After editing the original post I think I like it much more. This is a submission for a final exam in english comp so I appreciate the help.
Ferwynne