05-10-2013, 01:03 PM
(05-10-2013, 10:17 AM)Volaticus Wrote:Excellent,Smoke
Subtle swirls of smoke
Depicting dreamy tales
I exhale an elf
I was a bit bemused at first, but I like it.
It has a very surreal quality to it and again I like the alliteration in line 1 especially with the word swirls having a 's' at both ends. The whole line read out loud sounds like the image that it is describing.
I think it would be more classed as a senryu than a haiku but because you didn't say either way then no one can say, that's why I called my last post on hear 4 poems, because I wasn't really sure what they were.
Keep writing, it's good stuff.
All the best.
AR
wae aye man ye radgie