Each September

[Pilgrim]

hi Pilgrim

really enjoyed the read. I feel like you did an impressive job staying away from cliches, and agree with tec that maybe you could expand the rug idea. the ending took me by surprise and it was well done, though you could consider condensing the first three lines of that stanza. as tec said there you strayed into clicheland, and the last bit is much more powerful anyway.

this stanza:

I hear the rustle of her dress -
that silk and lace she wore last spring
to celebrate our union;
then safely stored away
for Christening.

was nice but confusing... she died a while back or just a couple months ago? seems like a few years back at least given the title, and I know the narrator is in a confused-sleep-daze, but reading it the second time I got stuck there. also, who wears their wedding dress to a baptism? maybe you can rework that a bit.

anyway lovely writing and sentiment, thanks for sharing.

Hello, justcloudy. Thank you for your critique.

Much to reflect on.

Regards,

Pilgrim.