Thoughts

[addy]

Thanks for the poem, LB. It was a little bumpy at spots but overall a fascinating read. Here are just a few comments that hopefully you'll find helpful.

These thoughts
attack my mind
causing destruction I'm curious what these thoughts are and how they're destructive. Try to give us some clue
sending mixed feeling
through my veins

chills sliding between my bones
full figure smile across my face
the hair in the back of my neck rising

these thoughts has isolated me from the world
drove me near insanity
but, made me feel high above
the days I felt lower than ever. try to limit the times you say 'I felt_____' or 'I feel ______'... if you felt high try saying 'I soared', if you felt low try saying 'I wallowed'. Better yet, really think about what you felt and describe it as an image.

the rush flowing in every part
of my body
secrets that only mind
and I can share I like this stanza, and I especially like the last two lines

these thoughts
will effect how people "affect"
view me
however, these thoughts
are mine you can try to put some punch in this ending. What do you mean, by "mine" precisely? That these thoughts are like a friend that hurts you, but you can't let go off? Or do you mean these thoughts, however terrible they are, are part of who you really are?Think about what you really feel