05-08-2013, 07:39 PM
the alliteration in the first feels a little foced but the poem as a whole is okay.
luxurious seems like too luxurious a word to use, do you need 'the' in the 2nd. again i enjoyed the poem.
is 'the' needed in the last line of the 3rd, i think this one is almost excellent
again with the last line of the 4th, is 'the' needed. another keeper.
luxurious seems like too luxurious a word to use, do you need 'the' in the 2nd. again i enjoyed the poem.
is 'the' needed in the last line of the 3rd, i think this one is almost excellent
again with the last line of the 4th, is 'the' needed. another keeper.