05-08-2013, 11:52 AM
Thanks for the comments everyone, I guess I'll be keeping the first stanza.
Todd, I'm sorry...those 'i' s were not intentional...must have slipped through my proofreading
I dunno about changing the 3rd line in the 3rd stanza like that. Rhyme has always been an important part of poetry for me. I mean, the meaning comes across, right? I know the sentence structure is twisted, but the line itself is understandable, and i'd like to keep the rhyme.
Todd, I'm sorry...those 'i' s were not intentional...must have slipped through my proofreading
I dunno about changing the 3rd line in the 3rd stanza like that. Rhyme has always been an important part of poetry for me. I mean, the meaning comes across, right? I know the sentence structure is twisted, but the line itself is understandable, and i'd like to keep the rhyme.