05-08-2013, 10:06 AM
Hi wordsworth,
I enjoyed your first poem on here, there is a lot of potential in this, I especially like the way that it has been constructed, I can tell that you have put a lot of thought into that aspect. But with that in mind I wondered why the last word of the second last line was "feet." when the progression looked as though it should have led to "heels"
Some more strong images would enhance the poem further, but as I said there is a lot of thought gone into it which is encouraging.
Cheers for the read.
AR
I enjoyed your first poem on here, there is a lot of potential in this, I especially like the way that it has been constructed, I can tell that you have put a lot of thought into that aspect. But with that in mind I wondered why the last word of the second last line was "feet." when the progression looked as though it should have led to "heels"
Some more strong images would enhance the poem further, but as I said there is a lot of thought gone into it which is encouraging.
Cheers for the read.
AR
wae aye man ye radgie