05-08-2013, 09:22 AM
hi guy with a long nic 
if you're going to reference a poem with such popularity and uses as a basis for a rebut or homage, it helps if you use a similar format. the rhyme scheme of ababc dedef .... over five line verse. try and use a similar meter
i like the essence of the last verse but feel you can make the 5 lines.
if you look at the fist verse of the original you can see a symetry with the words that start each sentence, two, and, and, and, to. it doesn't mean a lot of course but it's something to think about. try to make it less literal, use the roads as metaphor for life, emotion, or something else, use them for a reason as frost did.
if you're going to reference a poem with such popularity and uses as a basis for a rebut or homage, it helps if you use a similar format. the rhyme scheme of ababc dedef .... over five line verse. try and use a similar meter
i like the essence of the last verse but feel you can make the 5 lines.
if you look at the fist verse of the original you can see a symetry with the words that start each sentence, two, and, and, and, to. it doesn't mean a lot of course but it's something to think about. try to make it less literal, use the roads as metaphor for life, emotion, or something else, use them for a reason as frost did.
(05-07-2013, 10:03 AM)thatguyfromacrossthestreet Wrote: This is essentially the first draft for a small scholarship. Give me any feedback you seem fit. ><
You strive to be the very first
Yet always end up last
Glean behind the reapers
And first learn from the past
We take this past for granted
We don't learn from its mistakes
We strive to be the only one
Yet give up because we find it takes
Much more than first imagined.
Despite following the road less traveled
It quickly came to be
That following is still following
It's all the same to me.