The River of Lies

[heslopian]

There is a river we swim in
of life or lies, I do not know Would these two lines make more sense if you put the comma after "in"? I tripped up here, as the sentence clauses are oddly defined.
hidden within, a rumored pearl Would "is" work better than a comma?
with supposed powers to stop our growth Despite my niggles above this is a good verse, sharp and mysterious. I'd question the necessity of "supposed", but it's probably relevant to your meaning.

As children we float about the surface
while the adults dive into the deep
until the suspense grows us weary "Grows us weary" doesn't make sense. How about "wearies us"?
and our breath we learn to keep

Somewhere in our passing adolescence Brilliant line. Soft and melancholy, like afternoon light dappled on leaves.
we are pulled beneath the waves
the sunlight falls short of the bottoms there
dividing the depth ominous as a cave A suggestion I have in mind is that you remove "ominous as a cave" and make "depth" "depths", but that's a personal choice. I wouldn't want to smash a structure you're working on.

Deeper and deeper we trench Can "trench" be used as a verb?
till the river bottoms we alight This line feels very contrivedly constructed, to force a rhyme with "light".
and amongst the reeds we search
for the tiniest reflection of light Great line.

We, the youth, follow the elders here
to learn the ways of a seeker
but not before long the old pass away
and we've now become the teachers So far I'm really enjoying your extended metaphor, where the river is existence (I think) and humans grow in and search it for truth. It's smart and sophisticated.

Rocks and branches occasionally pass Good.
to draw us to the surface
but we've long since learned to avoid such 'hindrances' Why is "hindrances" in inverted commas? That implies, to me, that the characters don't really believe that the rocks and branches are hindrances.
so as not to defer from our purpose

Even so, one comes along
we cannot muster to evade "Muster to evade"? Muster what?
as we are hurled toward the light
our time in the dark begins to fade

Among the waves we catch our breath
with time enough to see
the sky, the clouds, the sun, the shore
and the birds perched in the trees There's something primeval about this verse, like when man first crawled onto dry land.

Our eyes trace the river a ways
as it winds down to an end
in the drop-off there the edge deforms
into a thunderous mist

Frantically we turn around
to see children diving in behind us
we must let them know, there is no use
the pearl never could have survived this Survived what? Also, going back to a previous verse, who must they evade?

Our mouths gape wide to shout in alarm
to say its not as it seems! "Its" should an apostrophe before the "s", as it's an abbreviation of "it is".
but we are silently overcome by the water
and the search goes on in the river of lost dreams

There's a lot of really good lines here, and a primitive atmosphere that's romantic and seductive, but what would really make this poem shine is clarity. The narrative becomes vague and falls apart in the latter half. JMHO, of course. Thanks for the read