05-06-2013, 04:47 PM
try and cut some of the baggage (excess) i suggested some i think there are others. i quite enjoyed the read and found it humorous. if fact too many good lines to point out 1 or 2. it skates round prose and makes it as a good poem
some of the punctuation and needs a bit of work and i'm not sure the mid-sentence caps work
some of the punctuation and needs a bit of work and i'm not sure the mid-sentence caps work(05-01-2013, 11:49 AM)ambrosial revelation Wrote: Why are seagulls still called seagulls?
Granted,
I'm sure there are still a few
Hardcore originals out there.
Balancing precariously on some
Small cliff face ledge with a sea view to live for.
But they are not the same seagulls that I speak of.
The city dwellers, the rooftop occupiers,
The "Your food is my food" seagulls.
These are the beasts that I speak of.
Arrogantly strutting their stuff down the high street,
Scattering happy go lucky window shoppers.
Surveying the potential for wayward scraps.
With a determined imperious swagger.
They've got evil eyes.
They unnerve me.
That sideways stare,
Obviously learnt from studying Picasso.
They know more than what they are letting on.
Ask the Crows. They know the reality.
Ferocious enemies, Crow and seagull.
Seen them fighting on many occasions.
Or rather,
Crow antagonises.
Seagull gives chase.
Crow flies into nearest tree.
Crow gloats.
Don't mess with the shape shifters,
It is a different level of comprehension.
The other day whilst meandering towards the forest,
I saw in the clear blue sky; aerial acrobatics.
Seagulls, four of them, swooping, rushing a Bird of Prey.
A Hawk, solitary, hunting in the same place as it always has.
It's all turvy topsy I tell you.
Forest... Eight miles from the sea.
Gulls harassing a Hawk.
The Hawk didn't flinch in the slightest.
Composed, a beautiful sight to.....
But back, back, back to point in question.
Gulls of the sea they are no longer! sea,
I'm not asking for a cull.
Just a reclassification.
A subspecies.
And you never know.
With an authentic identity,
A separate heritage.
They might just become more....
Peaceful.
