Eve was the Snake

[billy]

hi4tf

lots to like about it. a couple of things i noticed. some lines are wordy, ( i saw you're into rap and am thinking you're working to beat in your head) we reader's may not hear all of your rhythms. that said, many of them work well. next; you have more than an odd cliche. again, cliche often go unnoticed in song but stand out like bulls in proverbial china shops.

Left alone in silence, unable to figure out the science
No way to tabulate, calculate, or even postulate
Let alone stipulate - the reason why you sneak around
belly to the ground, and bold faced lie

You keep me dangling from a hook, teased and toyed every which way I look
Why don't I just close this book?
Instead I shrug into my coat and fight the storm - No use
It just leaves me exhausted, withered, and forlorn
And still I worship your heavenly form
Down on my knees I pray!

But I know what you do in the dark, your sins, they light up like a spark, bright as day!
The rudeness of your fire chars my flesh, these two souls were never meant to mesh
Destiny has put me to the test, beaten and smashed, my wounds still burning fresh
All but obvious I have failed just like all the rest

The silence breaks - Only sounds are my own cries of why
Why so many lies
I wallow and think and die and sink in my own putrid stink
A stench of self-pity and sad decay
I begin to rue the day we met, wish I'd of written you off -then-
I start to drive myself insane -again-

How could I have been so slow to realize that she was not my friend?