05-05-2013, 01:36 AM
Hi Brownlie,
I find this poem fascinating and have read it through several times now. There are some excellent images and some excellent comparisons. I must agree with Heslopian though, in that it needs more structure and a narrative. It seems unclear as to whether the narrator actually took the drug and for what purpose.
Your descriptions of the hell like induced trip in stanza four are very thought provoking and realistic.
The subject is fascinating and reminds me of 'fly agaric' but not as intense, although the trips from that are 'hell like' and very similar to what you have described.
I would love to see you work on this poem and tidy it up so to speak, the potential is plain to see from yourself and the poem.
Thanks for the read.
I find this poem fascinating and have read it through several times now. There are some excellent images and some excellent comparisons. I must agree with Heslopian though, in that it needs more structure and a narrative. It seems unclear as to whether the narrator actually took the drug and for what purpose.
Your descriptions of the hell like induced trip in stanza four are very thought provoking and realistic.
The subject is fascinating and reminds me of 'fly agaric' but not as intense, although the trips from that are 'hell like' and very similar to what you have described.
I would love to see you work on this poem and tidy it up so to speak, the potential is plain to see from yourself and the poem.
Thanks for the read.
wae aye man ye radgie