05-02-2013, 04:24 PM
I may as well post a revision to bring this debate to an end, many thanks to the three of you for ironing out the creases among yourselves. It's far more helpful than the "hey man that's really cool" I get from my friends at university. Tec I'm sorry but I've left the last line as is, even if it sounds wishy washy 
Coughing up Blood in the Morning
Bleak extracts of morning
ushered out of smoky lungs,
to exit via lips,
and fall no lower than the ground.
Small metallic streaks of red
among the normal junk.
Mortality in mucus,
washed away by tears of clouds.
Coughing up Blood in the Morning
Bleak extracts of morning
ushered out of smoky lungs,
to exit via lips,
and fall no lower than the ground.
Small metallic streaks of red
among the normal junk.
Mortality in mucus,
washed away by tears of clouds.
'...only this time one exciting opportunity was precisely as good as the next exciting opportunity. Which is to say, simply, that nobody got paid anymore' - Algren