Valhalla's waiting room

[Pilgrim]

Our story should not be crushed,
one to be told, booming in great halls
with dripping goblets and roaring fires,
boar's legs, pig's heads and laughter.
Not lost to papers, shuffled on table tops
picked at by who, has what, and not.

Our village smashed, hammer and axe,
babies wrapped and crying passed,
my chest slashed with rugged blade,
anger stayed but at what cost?
I bathe with floating candles,
pennies swapped for pound coins
on eyes that wont open;
without you.

Hello, TimeOnMyHands.

Valhalla, as you are surely aware, was in Norse myth the great hall of Odin where warriors who died in battle dwelt eternally.

You have set your poem (according to its title) in the waiting room of the great hall. So it could follow that notwithstanding their having died in battle, the deceased warriors were still not quite ready for admission. (Is that part of the tradition?)

Here we have one particular warrior who apparently wants his story recited (i.e. verbally) rather than written down, since the pages of the saga could be swallowed up in the confusion of food and other assorted items on the dining table.

The narrator then describes the events which presumably resulted in his death.

I assumed (rightly or incorrectly) that your reference to ‘floating candles’ referred to the method of disposal of the body. (There is a popular tradition of dead Vikings being pushed out to sea in funerary boats, accompanied by floating candles; but I understand that this is incorrect, and that Vikings were buried on land – though in a boat of wood or stone.)

I wondered who the narrator was addressing in his poem – the ‘you’ referred to in the last line on the poem?

As a final bit of nitpicking, I think your punctuation could benefit from close inspection and revision. For example, in the words ‘pig’s heads’ the apostrophe in ‘pig’s’ should come after the ‘s’. And I simply couldn’t unveil the meaning of ‘babies wrapped and crying passed’.

Despite all this, I think you have a great idea here for a saga (of the Norse variety) of your own. So good luck if you contemplate a revision.

Regards and best wishes.

Pilgrim.