Personal Column

[Pilgrim]

I think there's a good flow overall, and the line breaks were quite effective in most places. But there are some lines I would consider a bit cliche ie. 'and cry myself/to sleep again.' and 'It's killing me'. And I think it would strengthen the poem if you left out the words 'please'. But I sincerely enjoyed the read, and I think it conveys some strong emotions, I especially liked this part:

'But then you started
coming back,
just gradually at first:
your old blue shirt,
our favourite song,
a book we’d both read.'

Thanks for the read

Hello, Volaticus.

Thank you for uour comments.

Regards,

Pilgrim.