Rebekka

[milo]

i see the religious connotations within the poem but struggle to see the why. i'm guessing some cheating went on but i'm not really sure and i feel i should be with such an in depth poem. the 1st stanza sets up what i get of the poem. even the judas stand in was okay to a point but then religion reared up and i was screwed probably just me not reading right. i see lots of good stuff in the poem but for different reasons than i think it was intended. , i think i'll have to revisit a few more times, if i get the solid gist of it, i'll leave more feedback

thanks for the read.

You can replace my coffee cup;
the chinked and scarred
and weather-stained was it left outside a suggestion would be bean-stained
remnant of our breakfast table;
the last of solitude. this line doesn't seem to do or add anything.

You can have Matthias kiss should it be Mathias'
my savior's blackened lips; is mathias your saviour?
the sweet black of Christ's
dead lips or have him take
my heavy seat; the collaborator. love this stanza apart from the ambiguity of the 2nd line. maybe a period after kiss.

And I will not betray you; not sure this 'and' does you any favours in setting up the next
-and the unsaid accusation
echoes back at me-
though you would throw
our doors open, welcome soldiers
in to boot-scar stairs and pull great line though where did the soldier line come from
the walnut bureau drawers;
rummage through our things
-upturn the nothingness
of photographs and i'd suggest moving letters to this line
letters, underwear; cascade and cascade to the next, leaving underwear on it's one (italicised)
our unlived lives onto the floor-
though you would rend your shirt
at the breast, offer up your secrets
at the breast; the collaborator.

And I will not betray you; i think if you use this as a refrain, a constant use would be best.
though you whisper a tormented
past across my unworn threshold,
though you carry plastic shopping
bags that tear with the weight
of abandoned clothing from
the quiet huddle of families hidden
in the root cellars or abandoned churches;
temples, though you double up
with train-worn luggage; baggage,
and someone else's baby's shoes.

And I will not tuck my hands
under your shirt and grope
about your breasts to find more breasts?
a sack of silver or palm i'm thinking this relates to the mathias line who was a stand in for judas. that connection works really well by why is he in the poem
about your pockets when
you find my lips in front of strangers.

milo

You know, billy, anytime I can squeeze more breasts in, I usually do. (yes, that was a triple entendre). The title of the poem should have suggested the guilt that comes from a gentile in love with a Jew, but these things do not always work as planned.

Soldiers? Where do they ever come from? They always seem to be beating down my door though. Go figure.

Thanks for the help, billy.

milo