04-30-2013, 10:38 AM
This is a really nice poem 
I liked the fact that it flowed really well, and was easy to read. However when I read it, it seemed like there should be a pause in the middle of each line? Maybe that's just me, but I think commas would give it that pause. It sounds find without the pause I guess, but in my opinion the pauses slow it down, and this seems to be something that should be a little slow.
Another thing is that you could add an 'of' to the 6th line, maybe. " and perhaps 'of' my fall". I'm not an English geek but I'm pretty sure that there should be an 'of' there.
I liked the fact that it flowed really well, and was easy to read. However when I read it, it seemed like there should be a pause in the middle of each line? Maybe that's just me, but I think commas would give it that pause. It sounds find without the pause I guess, but in my opinion the pauses slow it down, and this seems to be something that should be a little slow. Another thing is that you could add an 'of' to the 6th line, maybe. " and perhaps 'of' my fall". I'm not an English geek but I'm pretty sure that there should be an 'of' there.