04-30-2013, 01:39 AM
I'm not much of an expert on rap, but I can't imagine that this would make a good rap song as mentioned in the previous post.
This was very easy to read in the sense of how it flowed and I like the use of quotes throughout which kept it grounded and real. The storytelling nature of the poem was very matter of fact, which added, I think, to the feelings of detachment. Yet it was real enough to make me interested in the characters and what would happen to them.
The last stanza is excellent, and to be perfectly honest I cried at the end of this poem. Life sometimes doesn't make sense and people sometimes make even less sense with there actions.
This was a very good read, you managed to say a hell of a lot of stuff in such a small space, thank you for sharing it.
This was very easy to read in the sense of how it flowed and I like the use of quotes throughout which kept it grounded and real. The storytelling nature of the poem was very matter of fact, which added, I think, to the feelings of detachment. Yet it was real enough to make me interested in the characters and what would happen to them.
The last stanza is excellent, and to be perfectly honest I cried at the end of this poem. Life sometimes doesn't make sense and people sometimes make even less sense with there actions.
This was a very good read, you managed to say a hell of a lot of stuff in such a small space, thank you for sharing it.
wae aye man ye radgie