04-24-2013, 05:58 AM
I think there's some really nice lines in your poem: 'like a mental elevator', 'little mind bender', 'Goodbye, Uncle Vlad'.
I do miss some punctuation and full stops, and some of the sentences, to me, were a bit long and wordy. I didn't like the line 'You’ve never broken my heart or made tears run down my cheek'. A bit cliche. But you have a lot of great things going in this poem, so thanks for sharing
I do miss some punctuation and full stops, and some of the sentences, to me, were a bit long and wordy. I didn't like the line 'You’ve never broken my heart or made tears run down my cheek'. A bit cliche. But you have a lot of great things going in this poem, so thanks for sharing