Killdeer

[tectak]

I stand, like Ruth, amidst this alien corn
that shudders to the gentle touch of wind
and sings to me the loss of being born.

I sneak my stranger's hand to stroke a horn
and shuck it bare just like a passing friend
I stand like Ruth. Amidst this alien cornA little niggle, here. Is this "...I stand like Ruth; amidst this alien corn." or, as you so succinctly wrote with inter-stanza enjambment, "Amidst this alien corn I'm stripped and shorn..." ? Either is fine but the latter seems a little less dramatically rich than the former.

I'm stripped and shorn, my bluebell dress is torn
and tossed to join the wind, a lover's bend Almost certainly there is a good case for a semicolon after "wind" if only for the perfect pensive pause it brings.
that sings to me the loss of being born. Truly memorable. An exquisitely apposite line. It could not be otherwise. Envy

So unlike fields of gorse and whin the thorn comma after whin
that damps my legs with blood, as I pretend
I stand like Ruth, amidst this alien corn. A disconnect, here. So unlike fields of gorse and whin....er, what? Also, do you want to say ".. as I pretend I stand like Ruth" or " I stand like Ruth amidst this alien corn"? Not firmly intentional enough for me.

My mind now grazes with the unicorn,
not lying in this bend unskinned and thinned,
that sings to me the loss of being born.

Somewhere there is a field of rape unworn cannot help but feel there is a reverse forced rhyme here and I can see the difficulty! For me "unshorn", as a gegengewicht to "shorn" earlier, would win. Rape is cut down and left (swathed) before harvesting the seed. I live in the middle of a rape field!
I go there in my mind, I rise unpinned...and again, but what to do? Rise unsinned, perhaps, as in assumed absolution following genuflection.( Ruth 2:10 At this, she bowed down with her face to the ground. She asked him, ‘Why have I found such favour in your eyes that you notice me – a foreigner?)’
and stand like Ruth amidst this alien corn
and sing along, the loss of being born.

Nothing amiss. Just beautiful. Neat and precise. Worthy.
Much enjoyed.
Best,
tectak