When My Body Has Had Enough (EDITED)

[milo]

of course, this is novice, and first I wish to commend you for writing this and posting. You could benefit from some selective trimming, I think:

Lessons learned are loyal ghosts
Childhood teachings chilling my marrow
There is a choice: to live or die
It haunts me all the time

When my body's had enough
And I'm vomited from that temple
In which I spent a lifetime of sacrilege
What beast will lie in that infinite terror?

I find no comfort in the notion of heaven
Nor do I throw myself into the open arms of hell
Neither holds any appeal:
A holy being, flesh forever burning
A clockwork orange with a shining halo
An earnest ending for a sinful beggar

If I could truly believe
What I've been incanting so many sleepless nights:
That it all simply went dark
Would my eyelids close easily with peace?

I work an entire lifetime, experience sorrow and joy
In the end, what was all of this?
I was here, I walked around, I left
A transient memory with an enduring carbon footprint

A common contemplation, yes
A common fear gnashing in poisoned minds
Knowledge is power, knowledge is terror
Do I know truth
Or do I dwell on fable?

Lessons are ghosts
as Childhood teachings the chill marrow
There is a choice: to live or die
It haunts me

When my body's had enough
And I am vomited from that temple
In which I spent a lifetime
What beast will lie in terror?

I don't find comfort in this heaven
or this hell


A clockwork orange with a shining halo


If I believe
What I've been incanting so many nights:

Would my eyelids close with peace?

I work a lifetime,

I was here,
A transient memory

A contemplation,
A fear gnashing in minds

Do I know truth
Or do I dwell on fable?


I would start my revisions there.

milo


Clockwork Orange

A clockwork orange with a shining halo,
do I know truth or do I dwell on fable?
I press my eyelids 'til I see the day-glow:
A clockwork orange with a shining halo.
These gnashing minds, their childhood teachings fail, so
this poisoned temple's vomit on the table.
A clockwork orange with a shining halo,
do I know truth or do I dwell on fable?
.