04-17-2013, 10:55 PM
Some poems have forced sounding rhymes. This one almost does, and sometimes does. But it almost makes it. Some of it feels like it fits the content; I'm not sure how much, I can't concentrate but a few minutes at a time these days. How do you feel about the rhymes? And about "stake are"? I like when the rhymes fall apart at the end, when "she can't even talk". So this has some good things going for it. What are your own ideas about it?