Technicalities

[tectak]

The poem is not all bad, and it's certainly salvageable, there is some good stuff here.
A good start would be to..
Try to make the narrative more interesting, and less patronizing.

Interesting...

Well, the goal was kind of to be patronizing. I was trying to satirize philosophy and academia. The debate is intentionally irrelevant to the larger context... that is, while they're debating semantics, somebody is setting their cars on fire.
I'm not going to into pretentious "my poem's good. You just don't get me" mode. Instead, I'm wondering how I can make my purpose here a little clearer. I'm trying to be pretentiously philosophical (the goal is absurdism, actually) while also criticizing pretentious philosophy.
Do you have any advice for how I might better cast this, make the pretentiousness a little clearer, but elucidated as satire?

And sorry, Tect. You're right. I'd forgotten that you liked my first poem. I probably took you out of context, but I've been having a row with an ex who decided to break up with me on my birthday AND our anniversary (same day), so I might have exercised my anger accidentally.

Hey, that's fine Punch me!
Best,
tectak