04-16-2013, 08:17 AM
heart-- thank you.
todd-- thanks so much for the crits. lots of good points which I'll definitely work into the revision. do you feel like it's too long? I sort of do but am not sure what to cut... and feel free to expand on the vignette point, I wouldn't be opposed to maybe turning this into something different...
hi tec-- you say what's on your mind, can't hate you for that. =] and you have a point.
true-- yea it does. boo if that didn't make sense. in S3 the narrator talks about "our water heater and the shower faucet / that called the shots" and that's why she's in trouble at school: burns. "scalding ice shower" = it changes quickly. if others didn't get that either I should change it, sorry if it's not clear enough.
todd-- thanks so much for the crits. lots of good points which I'll definitely work into the revision. do you feel like it's too long? I sort of do but am not sure what to cut... and feel free to expand on the vignette point, I wouldn't be opposed to maybe turning this into something different...
hi tec-- you say what's on your mind, can't hate you for that. =] and you have a point.
true-- yea it does. boo if that didn't make sense. in S3 the narrator talks about "our water heater and the shower faucet / that called the shots" and that's why she's in trouble at school: burns. "scalding ice shower" = it changes quickly. if others didn't get that either I should change it, sorry if it's not clear enough.
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The howling beast is back.
The howling beast is back.