04-15-2013, 08:02 AM
Much better, the meatballs feels a bit eclectic with no lead in. You could possibly make a reference to the parking meter expiring or something like that.
Maybe fists plural.
Beyond that, enjoyed the look at both sexes and where you took it.
It's a nice edit.
Maybe fists plural.
Beyond that, enjoyed the look at both sexes and where you took it.
It's a nice edit.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson