Stubs of My Love

[heslopian]

The sun rises upon an untouched horizon If the sun's rising on this horizon then how is it untouched?
Another chance to prove my heart
But first you must take it
Run with it and never look back I rather like this image of the lover running with the narrator's heart.


Bruised and battered, it lays on the floor
You dropped it with each loosened grasp This line implies that the lover kept dropping it again and again, which I'm not sure makes sense. If the lover keeps dropping it, then why does it matter? The narrator should be used to it by now.
You ran away, you have yet to look back Didn't the narrator tell the lover to never look back? This line suggests that they're angry with the lover for not doing so.
Like a fool, I sit here and expect it to decay The next verse indicates that the heart is decaying, so this line feels redundant.


This heart, once fluttered with Butterflies Why are "butterflies" and "ant" in the next line capitalised?
This heart, now covered in Ant bites This is another good image. Dark and gruesome.
Each prick a small, beautiful memory Very good.
What I’d give, to awake in your cocoon, instead of your colony Subtle and powerful.


The legs of the chair I wait in, are made from my love A neat poetic idea, kind of moving.
This oak, it’s as strong as steel
But let’s not fool ourselves
We both know time corrodes even the best craftsmanship A very good line.


Crossing stars, waiting to land we remain This line feels slightly inane, and the poem would be stronger, I think, if it ended on the previous line.

Your narrative and some of your ideas are very muddled, but there's also rich, poetic lines here. I think if you focus a bit more on what you're trying to say about your two characters and love in general then you could make a really spectacular poem. Critique is JMHO, and thanks for the read