To Drink and Drive
#10
some things are more clear in the edit, esp towards the beginning... but it lost its umph for me. it read a lot more flat. for example: the entire aunt dimension is lost, and the speaker getting pushed into the hall at the end was important, made him/her much more vulnerable.

S1, S4 and S5 for me were an improvement, but for the rest I preferred the original.

just my thoughts.
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The howling beast is back.
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Messages In This Thread
To Drink and Drive - by UnicornRainbowCake - 04-10-2013, 07:46 AM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by Volaticus - 04-11-2013, 12:46 AM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by UnicornRainbowCake - 04-11-2013, 01:41 AM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by justcloudy - 04-12-2013, 01:17 AM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by UnicornRainbowCake - 04-12-2013, 02:45 AM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by tectak - 04-12-2013, 03:13 AM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by UnicornRainbowCake - 04-12-2013, 03:35 AM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by tectak - 04-12-2013, 03:38 AM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by UnicornRainbowCake - 04-12-2013, 07:42 AM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by justcloudy - 04-12-2013, 07:59 AM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by tectak - 04-12-2013, 07:09 PM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by UnicornRainbowCake - 04-12-2013, 10:10 PM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by tectak - 04-13-2013, 12:12 AM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by UnicornRainbowCake - 04-13-2013, 04:42 AM
RE: To Drink and Drive - by UnicornRainbowCake - 04-13-2013, 07:48 AM



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