04-12-2013, 01:17 AM
wow, so beautifully written, heartbreaking and crisp. the smoke alarm and scraped knees part especially tugged at these heartstrings. well done.
just a question: is S5 the aunt speaking? or is it still in the narrator's head? that tripped me up on my second read.
and a comment or two: tense guilt doesn't work for me, but that's maybe just me. and would it be more personal if "aunt" had a name? just a thought.
thanks so much for sharing this lovely piece of poetry.
-cloudy
just a question: is S5 the aunt speaking? or is it still in the narrator's head? that tripped me up on my second read.
and a comment or two: tense guilt doesn't work for me, but that's maybe just me. and would it be more personal if "aunt" had a name? just a thought.
thanks so much for sharing this lovely piece of poetry.
-cloudy
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The howling beast is back.
The howling beast is back.