An April Stroll (second edit)

[Volaticus]

SECOND EDIT
Ducks peck the water
Paddle in slush-iced pond
I crumble my sandwich for them.

I tried to use all your helpful advise. I really hope I improved this second edit :-)

FIRST EDIT
Ducks peck in the water
Paddle in slush-iced pond
I crumble up my sandwich.

What do you guys think? Did I manage do improve it or just screw it up? ;-)

-----

I tried to do a haiku, with an idea I got from a walk outside :-) I'm not quite sure if it's done right, though?

An April Stroll
Ducks peck in the pond
Paddle in slush-iced-water
I pour out my lunch.