The Waiting Game (second edit)

[Volaticus]

A definite improvement, I think. I haven't looked at this thread in a while and so read the edit with fresh eyes - it is so much clearer now what you mean and are trying to convey.

I think the problem is with it not feeling like it's fitting in is each stanza has a different rhyming scheme. This might be deliberate, but I'm not sure that it works. Think about a uniform scheme or even free verse.

Very much improved however

Hi Amy,
Thanks so much for your feedback
I'm so happy to hear that it's much clearer now. I focused a lot on that. Maybe a bit too much
About the different rhyming schemes. (Just to be sure, and at the risk of sounding a bit stupid, but rhyming schemes are like aaba, abcb etc?).
But it was intentional. Maybe that was a mistake. I thought it worked okay, but now that you mention it, it seems a bit.. messy.