04-10-2013, 04:40 PM
Thanks guys, I really appreciate the feedback. Especially on the title, as that was something I was really unsure of; one of those "crap, it needs a title" things!
Amy interestingly the 'original' had full stops, and I took them out when I posted it here, based on a gut-feel moment; I think they'll work their way back in.
"Oft" and "posit" - I'll have a good think about those. I can see what you mean, although for me they do serve quite specific purposes of both rhythm and tone. I'll go away and play with some alternatives, see if I can find something that conveys the same meaning without being too long-winded or too prosaic. Thank you - just goes to show that there's always something you could tweak, even in a short piece
Amy interestingly the 'original' had full stops, and I took them out when I posted it here, based on a gut-feel moment; I think they'll work their way back in.
"Oft" and "posit" - I'll have a good think about those. I can see what you mean, although for me they do serve quite specific purposes of both rhythm and tone. I'll go away and play with some alternatives, see if I can find something that conveys the same meaning without being too long-winded or too prosaic. Thank you - just goes to show that there's always something you could tweak, even in a short piece