lets just clear this up. feedback is objective or subjective, his feedback is a bit of both, who knows what others may see in the poem.
if he told you he saw a list then accept that that's what he saw. tom can be very opinionated about peoples poetry but we accept that here. in fact it's really what we need to help us improve, you can disregard it etc but if there's a hint of substance in the reply then the reply is worthy. he told you it was list like, that's a point. he's pointing out to you that it feels you didn't spend much time thought or effort on the poem, this is his insight, he's slating the poem because he thinks it has little value as a poem, these are valid, if harsh points. no one here is a professional critic. if anything, many of us are barely capable of that standard of feedback. i'm not defending tom or anyone else. grow thicker skin, be more open to this kind of feedback. please don't reply to this part of my post here, but open a discussion if you wish to discuss the matter
while brevity in poetry is often extolled as a virtue, it has to be near perfect due to it's brevity. any slip in syntax or enjambment screw the reader up. when brevity is used in a stanza format, each stanza needs to be self contained (as a rule) many of your stanza fail in this. it feels like many are made of broken lines, many also come off as quotes or attempts at witty remarks. for me the poem fails to open up enough, it doesn't capture any of me. in a way, it like reading the side of a cereal box at breakfast. a suggestion would be to use less brevity and more continuity.
if he told you he saw a list then accept that that's what he saw. tom can be very opinionated about peoples poetry but we accept that here. in fact it's really what we need to help us improve, you can disregard it etc but if there's a hint of substance in the reply then the reply is worthy. he told you it was list like, that's a point. he's pointing out to you that it feels you didn't spend much time thought or effort on the poem, this is his insight, he's slating the poem because he thinks it has little value as a poem, these are valid, if harsh points. no one here is a professional critic. if anything, many of us are barely capable of that standard of feedback. i'm not defending tom or anyone else. grow thicker skin, be more open to this kind of feedback. please don't reply to this part of my post here, but open a discussion if you wish to discuss the matter
while brevity in poetry is often extolled as a virtue, it has to be near perfect due to it's brevity. any slip in syntax or enjambment screw the reader up. when brevity is used in a stanza format, each stanza needs to be self contained (as a rule) many of your stanza fail in this. it feels like many are made of broken lines, many also come off as quotes or attempts at witty remarks. for me the poem fails to open up enough, it doesn't capture any of me. in a way, it like reading the side of a cereal box at breakfast. a suggestion would be to use less brevity and more continuity.