Where I must be...edit 2, trueenigma,edit 1. billy the cliche killer

[billy]

I need to be where buzzards broach the bosom bens, i googled but never found the bosom bens, i'm figuring it's a type of fungi. good opening line.
cupped in white cotton kufi and pure as faith and prayer. good image
I need to feel the brittle breeze first numb my brow and then
upon my cheek, high clicking sticks shed needles slick; could something better than sticks be used? i know it works with click and slick but it feels out of place. a stick usually being a dead thing.
I feel no pricks,
just pine scent in the gloaming air.,

I need to be where snow-swans slide on silver trays; cracking image
in leaf-dark shaded water, glass paned on sun-sweat days. and again
I need to drink fast streams that leach from bryophytic braes; i'm sure it works but wonder if it works well enough? i'm guessing many will view bryophytic as being something akin to greek syphilis
still-clear as gin, peat-soft but strained through quartz and sand. clear as gin is cliche extreme
I sip the land,
as raindrops fling in Highland haze.

I need to be where sea sobs shore...
Where wild hart roar…
Where stars are crushed…
Where nights are hushed…
Where air is made…
Where time can fade.
I need to be
where I must be. the last 3 lines feel to poetic/forced.

Tectak
Sheildaig
2013

i enjoyed it till the end where i think you ran out of good sentences to use
still an enjoyable read