04-08-2013, 05:40 PM
What caught my eye straight away was the title, which I love.
For Novice, there's not much I can critique about this - when layout is done well, it works brilliantly. That's definitely the case in your piece.
Perhaps look at starting your whole poem from "I’m still young”, you say". Although I like the ideas that are introduced before this, it is also quite wordy.
Great poem
For Novice, there's not much I can critique about this - when layout is done well, it works brilliantly. That's definitely the case in your piece.
Perhaps look at starting your whole poem from "I’m still young”, you say". Although I like the ideas that are introduced before this, it is also quite wordy.
Great poem
- Amy
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)