04-05-2013, 07:36 AM
(04-05-2013, 07:29 AM)UnicornRainbowCake Wrote: I think this poem could really benefit from keeping up the lords prayer throughout - you abandon it for no good reason after the first stanza.I considered doing that, but I wanted to show that none of the prayers work. Plus, the Lord's Prayer doesn't flow right since the way it is written.
But I can definitely feel your emotions are in this poem, and that is a good thing.