04-03-2013, 11:59 AM
I really enjoyed the imagery that you used in the poem. I think your word play in the first few lines is pretty sweet.
In all this is a well written poem. There are parts that seemed forced.. not jammed, just slightly manipulated. Maybe you can revise to make it as natural as possible....
If not it's ok. The poem was nice
Shakyra
In all this is a well written poem. There are parts that seemed forced.. not jammed, just slightly manipulated. Maybe you can revise to make it as natural as possible....
If not it's ok. The poem was nice
Shakyra