The Waiting Game (second edit)

[Volaticus]

Again, thanks a lot for the feedback on how to improve my poem :-) Apparently I struggle quite a lot, when revising my poems, but I very much want to get better at writing :-) So this is what I ended up with after a long time, trying also to think of all the suggestions that were made. Critique or feedback will be appreciated and very helpful :-)

SECOND EDIT:
The Waiting Game

I wish to finish this puzzle my dear,
Fill in the blanks, so all would be clear,
But I know you, I know of your monsters;
You wouldn't be ready to hear.

In our endless screaming,
We need something to believe in,
Something to bash the wall, to break our fall;
A wake-up-call.

But then again,
I ask, my friend:
A new beginning? A bloody end?
A demon's femur, or Heaven sent?

I know it's not our time,
To nurse our saplings to grow,
A parasitic echo, always asking "Where to go?"
Must take it slow.

-----

Okay, so I've tried and tried to revise this poem, taking in the useful feedback I got. But I kind of feel that the first stanza, doesn't fit in. I'm pretty happy with the rest of the corrections I made, but it would really help me, to get another opinion on this. Thanks so much in advance

FIRST REVISE:
The Waiting Game

I wish to finish this puzzle, my dear-
Fill in the blanks, so all would be clear.
But I know you;
I know of the monsters you fear-
You wouldn't be ready to hear.

In our endless screaming,
We need something to believe in,
Something to stop it all,
To break our fall,
And make us tall.
But then again,
I ask, my friend:
A new beginning? A bloody end?
A demon’s femur, or Heaven sent?

I know it’s not our time,
To let our fevers grow,
A gnawing, clawing feeling,
Always asking “where to go?”
Must take it slow.

-----

This is a poem I wrote quite a long time ago. I know that it has a lot of cliches, abstractions and so on. The way it is now, it is not a good poem, in my opinion. I thought of revising it to 'rescue' it, but I can't decide, 'cause I'm not sure if there's enough to build on. I would greatly appreciate to hear another persons opinion. Thanks in advance

ORIGINAL:
The Waiting Game

I wish I could begin to tell you,
Just half of what needs to be told,
All the dreams to unfold,
And all that I have to withhold.

In endless screaming,
Something to believe in,
Something to stop it all,
To stop the fall,
And wake the crawl.
But then again,
I ask, my friend:
A new beginning? A bloody end?
A demon's femur, or Heaven sent?

I know it's not our time,
To see the curtains flow.
A winter, smiling backwards,
Always asking where to go,
Must take it slow.
(My vertigo,
Out of control,
Of things that matter,
And what to behold.)