The bride of Chenab (My first Triolet)

[neena2504]

I can see why you're so excited about it, it's very effective and poignant

I think it might read better as 'holding onto a hope barely alive' though.

Also, would her tears be long dried if she's still waiting for him there? It sound great but thinking back to it I'm not sure it quite makes as much sense. Perhaps 'lost her pride' instead? (Or something a bit less cliche...)

Thankyou for a wonderful piece though

Hi Amy,

Thank you so much, this means a lot to me.
'Holding on to a hope barely alive' was my first choice but I felt it was longer in the meter.
Yes you are right in that sense, I'll have to think of something fresh.
I will incorporate these changes it in my next edit.

Thank you once again.

Cheers