04-02-2013, 07:58 PM
The edit is definitely better than the original. I think L4 rounds it up nicely, much better than the original.
Two things pull at me though:
- Is there a reason for capitalising the colours? Actually, I like it now I've thought about it a bit more :-P It emphasises the season being colours.
- Do you mean spectrum instead of specter?
This poem makes me think of how it's meant to be spring - except it's cold and raining. :-(
Two things pull at me though:
- Is there a reason for capitalising the colours? Actually, I like it now I've thought about it a bit more :-P It emphasises the season being colours.
- Do you mean spectrum instead of specter?
This poem makes me think of how it's meant to be spring - except it's cold and raining. :-(
- Amy
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)