Porch Lights

[billy]

free verse more or less concerned with the end of a night no need for the heads up.
Porch Lights

What of the last friend
to say goodbye?
When the sun has not yet risen
and feels to have set in some other time

And what of the desolate train stations? is 'the' needed?
When the bitter platforms again, is 'the' needed?
are wearily populated by a somber few
and the announcement painfully jests; and agin
"Good morning."

When every can, sack and bottle
has been dripped dry
and the damage done i like the image in these 3 lines, it creates a strong feeling of loss

When the ash is on the table
because the tray went missing
who knows when
and the mess is the problem
of someone from tomorrow

What of the last cigarettes
being smoked through sorry lips?
When something like a cigarette
almost seems good for you
because eating one of the foods
could only serve
as a harsh reminder of reality

When tuning in with the present
isn't worth a dime cliche
and reflection is a distant impossibility

And what of the front doors
clumsily opened and gently closed,
when the papers are being delivered
and the porch lights are turned off
and frail hands surround coffee cups
and cans of coca cola? a few too many ands in this stanza

Well, when the victims of the night fall into their beds
they ought to realize that if they feel this terrible
they at least can't have been at work. feels a little trite but does work

i can't see anything major that needs work, some good images. i have nits about some of the excess packing but that's about it, i thought the poem was pretty solid. the 3rd stanza felt more personal than the rest, which felt of drunken nights.
wish i could be more constructive