starry night (haiku)

[Heartafire]

do you have anything from his teacher (this a joke and not meant to offend )

the first is something most people know, the 2nd assumes the western world can't juxtapose two things that have a connection. it's a fallacy, the concept is the same in both culture. back to the syl count; it's the reason many modern haiku writers as well as old haiku writers such as basho say a haiku is one breath poem, not a syl count but 1 breath, (westerners usually equate the breath to 17 syls or less )

man is part of nature, so is a building on a hill or a crane (hoist) on a building site) nature denotes surrounding, not flora or fauna, while a senryu is purely about the human condition. basho oft wrote of boats, roads, barns and other buildings, had he a skyscraper near him he'd have spoke of it, it's on the landscape or of the landscape and can be of the moment.

simply stated, i see this as a lot of bollox. a sonnet does not adhere as closely as possible...it's a sonnet. if it doesn't look like a haiku it's not a haiku. a modern haiku does not have very loose rules. it has some different rules that are based on the traditional as much as possible. if the first part of this quote is true, why quantify it by saying " if you start straying really really far it gets ridiculous " in the second part. you either adhere to it as best you can or you don't

what part of

moonless night
pin-point stars
pierce the sea

what other aspects of the haiku form that makes the reader think...mmmm this is a haiku, does the above 3 lines of poetry have?

i too found it enlightening

it's common knowledge that there's a syllable issue, this was gotten over by making it a poem that can be said in a normal breath.

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just adding with an edit that i appreciate your thoughts and time and that i can see where you're coming from.
if i accept your friends views as just so, then i have to say i can only see your poem as a short poem. not a bad short poem but a short poem nonetheless.

This changes nothing for me. This modern "form" ((which is not a form at all, since there is no format) is not haiku, but a derivative of haiku, and should be called something else entirely, perhaps "short american poems".

You're not going to convince the whole world that your poem is written in haiku form, no matter how many arguments you present. I didn't read it as a haiku.

I wonder, do you put nearly as much thought and effort into reviewing and critiquing other peoples' poems as you do in defending your own? You haven't even bothered to comment on ANY of mine.

A simple "thank you for your review, I'll take it under advisement" would suffice. If you would like to discuss haiku form, related forms, and the controversies surrounding them, perhaps you should start another thread.

not sure, is your response to me?