But A Fantasy, Still

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But A Fantasy, Still

Truerenigma Offline

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#15

03-31-2013, 12:45 PM

(03-31-2013, 12:39 PM)trueenigma Wrote:
(03-31-2013, 10:59 AM)Volaticus Wrote: It does. Thank you

Did this improve anything?

I'm spewing sorrow, for a left tomorrow.
We're dancing, in unhinged grace.
A kind of addiction - or might it be fiction?
Into the stars we gaze.
Yes it does. It completes the sentences.

But then line three may also need some work. I would like to know what is a kind of addiction, or might be fiction?

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Messages In This Thread

But A Fantasy, Still - by Volaticus - 03-27-2013, 11:15 AM

RE: First time sharing a poem, so any comment would be greatly appreciated. - by neena2504 - 03-28-2013, 12:40 AM

RE: First time sharing a poem, so any comment would be greatly appreciated. - by Volaticus - 03-28-2013, 02:45 AM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by UnicornRainbowCake - 03-31-2013, 08:12 AM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by Volaticus - 03-31-2013, 08:28 AM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by Volaticus - 03-31-2013, 10:08 AM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by milo - 03-31-2013, 10:12 AM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by Volaticus - 03-31-2013, 10:25 AM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by milo - 03-31-2013, 10:28 AM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by trueenigma - 03-31-2013, 10:54 AM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by Volaticus - 03-31-2013, 10:38 AM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by Volaticus - 03-31-2013, 10:59 AM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by trueenigma - 03-31-2013, 12:39 PM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by trueenigma - 03-31-2013, 12:45 PM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by trueenigma - 03-31-2013, 12:55 PM

RE: But a Fantasy, Still - by Volaticus - 03-31-2013, 12:42 PM

RE: But A Fantasy, Still - by Volaticus - 03-31-2013, 12:51 PM

RE: But A Fantasy, Still - by trueenigma - 03-31-2013, 01:01 PM

RE: But A Fantasy, Still - by trueenigma - 03-31-2013, 01:05 PM

RE: But A Fantasy, Still - by Volaticus - 03-31-2013, 11:36 PM

RE: But A Fantasy, Still - by Volaticus - 04-01-2013, 07:56 AM

RE: But A Fantasy, Still - by Volaticus - 03-31-2013, 01:00 PM

RE: But A Fantasy, Still - by Volaticus - 03-31-2013, 01:04 PM

RE: But A Fantasy, Still - by trueenigma - 04-03-2013, 01:57 PM

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