03-30-2013, 02:44 PM
Hello everyone.
Thanks to those that commented. It really helps me to hear the thoughts of others regarding my work (its almost magical, actually).
I've tried again and have written another poem with this same theme in mind. It's in the OP. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.
Regarding the first poem:
'gallop' is a great word, and 'gallop, bitch' is a funny clause to me. But the word is too firmly connected to horses for it to be used with dogs (as I attempted here), although my dictionary says it can refer to any quadruped.
But considering more than the word, I realize the poem was weak. It was my first swipe at this theme, though, and was written late last night. Oddly, I thought I had it. Clearly I was sleep deprived.
Mikey.
Thanks to those that commented. It really helps me to hear the thoughts of others regarding my work (its almost magical, actually).
I've tried again and have written another poem with this same theme in mind. It's in the OP. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.
Regarding the first poem:
'gallop' is a great word, and 'gallop, bitch' is a funny clause to me. But the word is too firmly connected to horses for it to be used with dogs (as I attempted here), although my dictionary says it can refer to any quadruped.
But considering more than the word, I realize the poem was weak. It was my first swipe at this theme, though, and was written late last night. Oddly, I thought I had it. Clearly I was sleep deprived.
Mikey.