in order to exorcise the demons of pesach (part I)

[newsclippings]

Mean cowboy and and camels for cigs


I guess,
it is high time
for me
to get real.

I so unpoetically procrastinate
and hate to have mirrored
back to me
my own ugly fate-face. I like when you do this fate-face thing, I do it with words sometimes too, it's a public indecision that I love.


Nothing to be proud about.
(But that's a lie: I was brilliant at times). You're talking to yourself, that's good.

Were you like me in a
Burton-Taylor situation,
you would be just as much exhausted as I am
by now. hey, what does this stanza mean?

I just cannot let (her) go (away). borderline cliche

I am encaged by
my drab fatal fate. to me this sounds like you're saying it in this monotonous uncaring voice. Is that the effect you're going for?

You see me crying yet?



Humming to myself as dying tomcats do
I know I must ignore my heart's voice
but it is Good Friday,
that one day of the year when miseries are prone to happen. i wouldn't use prone here but I couldn't tell you why

But not to me.
(promise to myself)

My heart bleeds with the one on the cross.

even if my heart believes a lie.

But – to lighter-note my text -
I love the way late-antiquity Africa
presented their holy hero to them and us:the people of Africa? their? there is a whoooole lot of people in Africa. perhaps you should pick a region, unless you're trying to generalize

The spread out wide arms of Jesus not being
nailed to the wood of the cross but
there is no cross:
Just a tall fine man
inviting us all with a gesture
that does not need words to tell.this is funny to me


My Aramaic is messed up anyway.
So, instead of reading Thackston again,
I will stay here with my bad English.

And I want the ghosts of le renouveau catholique to disappear to me.

Huysmans has infected me and Bernanos made it worse.

Only one time the Messiah
addresses a dead one in his voice:
Talitha kumi. wat