03-29-2013, 11:44 PM
hey Mikey
love the title! I didn't get some of the words (bay?) but I spose that's because I don't ride...? anyway every time I read it I get something different and like it more. yay!
some little quibbles: it started rhyming. I wanted it to keep rhyming. also, "Obey your master!" rubbed me the wrong way both in meaning and in flow. and leash = dogs. maybe "lead" instead?
love the title! I didn't get some of the words (bay?) but I spose that's because I don't ride...? anyway every time I read it I get something different and like it more. yay!
some little quibbles: it started rhyming. I wanted it to keep rhyming. also, "Obey your master!" rubbed me the wrong way both in meaning and in flow. and leash = dogs. maybe "lead" instead?
_______________________________________
The howling beast is back.
The howling beast is back.

