03-29-2013, 08:41 AM
wow, beautiful imagery for this subject, so unexpected and lovely.
a few things:
the first stanza made no sense to me until I looked up "dendrites," so that seems to be a weak point.
the "you" seemed to come out of nowhere (for me).
I read the "shy creature" as the mirrors for the first few reads, which didn't work too well.
one last thing: not a fan of the title. it made sense afterwards but set the tone all wrong for me.
anyway just trying to help you out with story continuity, because the rest is magic. =]
a few things:
the first stanza made no sense to me until I looked up "dendrites," so that seems to be a weak point.
the "you" seemed to come out of nowhere (for me).
I read the "shy creature" as the mirrors for the first few reads, which didn't work too well.
one last thing: not a fan of the title. it made sense afterwards but set the tone all wrong for me.
anyway just trying to help you out with story continuity, because the rest is magic. =]
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The howling beast is back.
The howling beast is back.