Relationships

[justcloudy]

Hi Wjames,

I love the way this piece flows, the rhythm is really beautiful. It sort of ebbs and flows like the tide, which makes the ocean link perfect. The first stanza works for me, but I agree with Mikey that it'd be really nice to have the ocean theme throughout.

"Harbouring
relationships
upon the ocean
floor. Here the actors are anchoring their love and life under the ocean, fine

Beneath the frothing,
rolling waves
that pound my broken
core." here the writer is suddenly up at sea level. It's just a nit but my brain had a hard time reconciling the two images. I do, however, love the last stanza, including core. =]

I enjoyed the read, thanks.