I'd Rather Dream

[milo]

I'd prefer brutally honest comments I can take it I swear and maybe title opinions. I suck at titling :/.

I'd Rather Dream
Looking up at the stars
Getting lost in a daze
Lost in a my thoughts
Lost in a state
A state of mind where my problems fade
Then reality comes near
Gives me a good slap
That's when I realize
My problems are back

yah, I see tektak already mentioned most of the weakness here. It is pretty much all cliche. Readers want fresh original phrasing that they have not heard before. I tried to rewrite it as a triolet, but couldn't really salvage enough.

milo