03-26-2013, 06:35 PM 
	
	
	
		Hey Brandon, some cool stuff here. Your last line implies your move (which was nice). I think that a stronger starting place might be to excise the shorter lines.
Here's my move and poem:
In the Box
Nc3
There is a scorpion
and a key.
Perhaps they are
the same.
	
	
Here's my move and poem:
In the Box
Nc3
There is a scorpion
and a key.
Perhaps they are
the same.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
	

 

